Remembering
by redsparrow1060
Summary: When a human woman with the power to jump dimensions falls into the world of the Beast Wars, her power makes her a target of the Predacons. As she allies herself with the Maximals, Dinobot finds himself fascinated by the lost woman, and what happens next may destroy them both.


Even years after her death he still saw her in his mind's eye as clearly as he had the day he met her. The strange scream in the night that brought the Maximals to the jungle; and the frightened face of a human woman. Dinobot snorted to himself at the memory as he reminisced about that night. The pale femme had looked about ready to offline when they had transformed; she had rocked back and forth on the ground, whimpering like a weakling-hardly the stance of a warrior, even under duress.

She had hardly seemed like a threat to him, at least until he moved to grab her arm and he found himself flat on his back with a cold blade pressed to his throat cables, looking into terrified brown optics.

_"What are you?" she whispered. She was shaking, but the blade pressed to his throat somehow remained steady._

_"I- am a Maximal warrior, and you-have just threatened to kill me, which means you SHOULD be getting shot at right now!" Dinobot spat, raising his voice at the end._

_"She's human, Dinobot-it's impossible for her to be here at all." Optimus's voice, though amused, was still serious. "If she gets off of you, we will certainly allow her to explain how and why she is here."_

Her face was imprinted on his mind from the start, simply because of her nature. Her harsh, alien beauty, strangely, did not seem out of place in the wild land he lived in for now, though she came from a different world, a different time. She had looked most at place in the wild, the wind tearing through her hair, unchained; the first time he had seen her like that it had felt as though he had been struck by lightning.

She had taken quite a while to calm down, but when she had, she had given them all a major processor ache. Dinobot had even seen Rhinox downing several neural relaxants after the femme finished her long-winded explanation of how she came to be there when her ancestors hadn't even developed spoken language yet. Apparently she belonged to a sect of beings from all corners of the universe who had the power to travel through time and space. After she said that they had all stared at her in obvious disbelief.

_"Dimension jumper. Riiight. You can excuse our disbelief, femme." Rattrap drawled, his view of the human's statement adamantly clear. The woman, whose name they had learned was Sarien, smiled gently._

_"Would you prefer I showed you?"_

_"Please do." Optimus immediately replied._

And then she had brought the raptors. A white slash of light had opened in their command deck, and five deadly, prehistoric, most definitely _extinct_ beasts had stepped through, happily milling about and butting their heads into the femme's hands. She had looked up at them with happy, sparkling optics-he recalled being horrified that the thought of her eyes _sparkling_ had even crossed his processors-and asked, "_Now_ do you believe me?"

She had been so _strong_, he thought. When she had headed out to battle with them after a few months of building trust, Cheetor had gone down right next to her. She had immediately dropped her weapon and started dragging him back towards the base, ignoring the plasma shots darting ever closer to her fragile, fleshy body. Optimus had called out for her to go-she was so much smaller than them, and weaker. Plasma stung them, nothing more. But her flesh would smoke and burn if she was lucky, or dissolve her on contact if she wasn't. She doesn't care, he realized, as she continued to struggle, all the while calling Cheetor's name, trying to get him to wake. And then, Tarantulas stood over her, laughing as he held a gun to her head.

Dinobot didn't remember moving. He didn't remember drawing his weapon. He barely remembered leaping on Tarantulas and beating him to within an inch of his life. He did remember the astonished look on her face as he hauled her back to her feet. He also remembered the pleasure he had taken in being able to bring that look to her face.

_"What-why-how the hell did you do that?" she asked, wonder shining from her face. Dinobot resisted the urge to preen at her statement of admiration._

_"Practice and experience, Sarien." he replied, gracing her with a smirk. Her face turned a bright poppy color, and she quickly turned and ran past him, muttering a thank you over her shoulder._

He remembered jealousy, when after that Cheetor began to gaze after her dreamily, like he had seen many young bots do. He had not quite understood his emotions at the time. Why was he angry when Cheetor casually draped an arm over Sarien's shoulder as she explained how humans lived where she came from? Why did he grit his teeth when Cheetor started leaving flowers outside her door, and Sarien, in all her obliviousness, didn't understand?

_"So, Sarien, have you ever had a mechfriend?" _

_Dinobot's fists clenched at the not-entirely innocent question directed at the human femme. Cheetor was leaning over the table at her, doing his best impression at a flirty posture. Sarien looked up from the datapad she was perusing. "What's a...mechfriend? Is it like a boyfriend?" _

_Cheetor grasped at words for a second. "Um...I don't know. What's a boyfriend?"_

_Sarien put down her datapad and chewed her lip for a second. "Hmm...well, a boyfriend is a guy you feel romantic feelings for, that you are currently courting. It's not as serious as being married or being partners, but it's like the step before those."_

_Cheetor grinned. "Yeah, that sounds like a mechfriend. So...do you have one?" _

_Sarien started. "Me? Oh, no. For one thing, it would be really hard to explain to him why I disappeared for a long time, and then was suddenly there again. Or why history was rewriting itself around us. Plus, most guys aren't really interested in me…" her voice trailed off, a slightly sad tinge to it. Dinobot had been too busy thanking Primus she had said no to notice the last thing she said, but Cheetor definitely did. _

_"What do you mean? You're awesome!" _

_Sarien smiled weakly. "Let's just say I don't fit my cultural ideal of beauty and leave it at that. I don't really want to talk about it." The sad tinge remained in her voice. Dinobot was admittedly happy to see her walk away from Cheetor. The crestfallen look on his face was evident of his disappointment. _

_Perhaps that will tell him to stay away from my femme, Dinobot thought. I hardly blame him though-anyone who cannot see her beauty is blind. _

_It occurred to him next that it didn't even bother him when he referred to Sarien as his. _

She was darkness incarnate, strangely innocent, and the most confusing being he had ever the pleasure to work with. Her eyes were like an open book, easy to get lost in. You could see everything in them; her ignorance, or perhaps innocence, of the world, some long hidden pain deep near her core, and every volatile emotion she was feeling in that moment.

He remembered her fighting back to back with him, for she made a more than adequate partner(to his uttermost surprise); he also remembered struggling to concentrate on the battle before him when he could feel the heat radiating off her small frame. She was unaware of the discomfort, or something else, that her closeness caused, or at least he hoped she was. The small smirk the normally shy woman had given him on the way back to base said otherwise.

And then came the worst memory, when he heard a soft noise in the night. Roused from his slumber, he had found her sneaking out. She was going to attempt to destroy the enemy, to keep them from her amulet and end the war for the Maximals she had grown to love.

_"You cannot be serious!" Dinobot yelled at the organic woman. Was she really so blind as to not see the foolishness in this plan? _

_"Dinobot, I have to! You know Megatron wants my amulet, he wants to take over any dimension he can get to. And my dimension can't fight back-there are no Transformers to help humankind there." Sarien snapped back, her frustration clear in her clenched fists. Dinobot knew, in this state, she was past reasoning. _

_"Is there nothing I can do to dissuade you?" Dinobot asked, his resignation evident in his voice. _

_"No!" Sarien yelled._

_"Be quiet, or else you'll wake the whole ship! If you insist on attempting this fool's errand, I'm coming with you."_

_Her shock was plain on her face. "You-you're what?" _

_"I said, I'm coming with you! How deaf are you, femme?" _

It had been a quiet journey. Her plan had been simple-since she was organic, the Darksyde's automatic defense systems would not detect her. She would place explosives around the base of the ship, and when they were set off, they would hopefully destabilize the fragile rocks the ship rested on enough to let it slide into the lava. When they had approached the Darksyde, she had made an offhand remark.

_"I'm glad you're the one by my side if I need to do this." _

_Dinobot froze for a moment, then replied slowly, "What do you mean by that?" _

_She glanced at him, a small smile lifting the corner of her mouth. "I don't know why, but it's easier to be around you than the others. Don't get me wrong, I love them, too, but you're different." _

_"Different how?" Dinobot inquired, a strange, giddy feeling centering in his tanks. He mentally scolded himself. You cannot be giddy at a time like this! _

_She turned and walked up to him, standing on her tiptoes. Even with the boost, she still only came up to his chest. She tilted her face up. "Well, I wouldn't want anyone else at my back in this situation. Especially Cheetor." _

_Dinobot suppressed a pleased purr at that. "And why is that?" _

_She grinned up at him. "Cheetor is too impulsive and a bit overconfident for this. And I trust you. More than anyone." _

_Dinobot lifted a hand and gently brushed away a loose strand of hair. "Sarien…" _

_But clearly, she had already guessed his feelings, because she had strained up to him and pressed her lips to his. _

_Dinobot had started in shock for a moment, then quickly wrapped an arm around her and pulled her up against him, simultaneously deepening the kiss and lifting her to relieve her strain. Her arms locked around his neck, and she pulled herself as close to him as she could manage. Dinobot was praying this was not a recharge flux but if it was, he didn't want to wake up. _

He had lost himself in that moment.

Lost himself in her.

His former master would have called it weakness.

He called it love.

He had known, then and there. When he had released her from the first and last kiss they ever shared, that she was all he wanted, once this war was over. But she hadn't known, neither of them had known, that his former master would do anything to procure that amulet, and she was a luxury his master had no need of...

_"Predacons, to battle!" They started back in shock as Megatron emerged from the Darksyde, followed by Waspinator and Terrorsaur, and began to fire on them, apparently not noticing the explosives. Sarien looked at the timer, than at the Predacons, than at Dinobot. Tears brimmed in her dark eyes, as she shouted something in an unfamiliar language, the one she used when ordering her pack, or employing her magic. Dinobot was dragged backward, as organic teeth bit into his arms and pulled. _

_He could see Sarien weaving magic, screaming profanity in the old language even as tears of blood fell from her eyes, as the raptors struggled to pull him back. "No!" Dinobot yelled, as he realized her plan. But it was far too late, as the timer went off and the explosions sent him flying backwards, his last action before unconsciousness took him to scream her name. _

_"SARIEN!" _

He still saw it, in his nightmares.

_"What in Primus's name possessed you to do such a thing?!" Optimus roared as Rhinox picked pieces of shrapnel out of Dinobot's chest. _

_"She believed it was for the best." Dinobot answered tonelessly. He was still in shock, he supposed. The reality of Sarien's death had yet to fully hit him, though, somewhere deep in his spark, someone was wailing. _

_"She obviously believed that, Dinobot. What I'm questioning is why you, in your duties to protect her, allowed her to do something that would, at the best case scenario, most likely would have ended up with one of you injured, and at the worst case scenario, which we are now living with, would have ended with her dead!" _

_"I thought she would be safe…" Dinobot whispered. "Obviously, I was wrong." _

_"Yeah, you were wrong all right…" Rattrap muttered, unshed coolant brimming in his optics. "I bet you don't even care! You're probably happy she's gone-no more organic slag clogging up the ship-" _

_"YOU CANNOT EVEN **BEGIN** TO COMPREHEND WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH!" __Dinobot yelled, his control finally breaking as he stood up, pushing Rhinox and Cheetor aside as he made his way over to the CR chamber. He tapped out the commands on the control panel, then stepped in as he waited for the healing darkness to overtake him. As the blackness covered him, he picked up the last bits of conversation. "Why would he snap like that?" Rhinox asked, more to himself than anyone in particular._

_"Didn't you realize?" Cheetor's voice was soft. Too soft. Far too soft for the mourning of a friend. "He loved her."_

Not a day passed without him blaming himself for her death. Not a day passed without him wishing he had been immolated, in her stead. Not a day passed without him hoping she somehow survived. Hoping without hope, for her to have lived.

Hoping for her to return.


End file.
